


Is this what it's supposed to be like to have a girlfriend?

by Kosei (orphan_account)



Category: Rockman X | Mega Man X
Genre: Cliche ending, F/M, M/M, Pining, The Ending is Really Bad, but its just so sappy ahhjajaj, girlfriend troubles, happy end, hyadain, x is a good friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 16:16:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20509868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Kosei
Summary: Zero is having girlfriend troubles and vents to X about them. X is wondering why he's feeling jealous.





	Is this what it's supposed to be like to have a girlfriend?

“Is this what’s supposed to be like?”

“Supposed to be like what?”

“To have a girlfriend.”

Zero’s long hair flitted in the breeze as the two friends walked home, as they did every day. Down the street where on one side there was a long row of houses and cars. On the other side, was a field of grass. Flowers spurted up in small bunches and trees loomed in the distance, casting dark shadows. 

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never had a girlfriend.” X responded. Zero’s eyes shifted to the side, and X could hear the chattering of people walking behind them. 

The scene of fluffy while clouds painted over an open sky as he continued past--a rare sight to see a day in the suburbs be so beautiful.

He was surprised, really, that it took Zero until his high school years to get his first girlfriend. there was always a higher ratio of boys than girls, but zero was... for lack of a better word, handsome. Very much so. However, Iris was the only girl he had expressed an interest in. For Zero to express curiosity in something was a lot for him, as he usually didn’t seem to care much about anything besides X, and that was only because they were friends. It felt weird to X that he expressed any interest at all in the new girl in town, he thought he would just ignore her. He could recall nearly falling over when he told him they started dating. it was starting to look like he was never going to have a girlfriend. 

X’s knowledge of Iris was rather limited. What he did know was that iris didn’t have any parents and moved in with her older brother. Zero told him that her brother has a sister complex (whatever that meant) and disliked him even though he hadn’t done anything to warrant that.

Iris was pretty. Her hair was long and straight and looked like a delicious caramel dessert when the sun shined, it was very glossy and well taken cared for. Her skin was white and fair and looked soft. 

They looked like the perfect couple, the type of pretty attractive people that seemed to only exist in movies. 

“I wouldn’t know. The years I’ve been single is my age...”

Zero grunted, and then sighed. 

it seemed clear now, that their relationship wasn't as perfect as the movies, though. 

“It’s just that… it’s been 3 months and we’ve haven’t even held hands,” he said after a moment.  
“Seriously?”  
“Seriously.”

‘That’s ridiculous.’ X thought, but kept that to himself. From what he understood, even a couple days lovers would start holding hands, but then again…

“You better be glad you’re single…”  
“Why is that?”

Zero sighed again. Irritation spread across his face and he reached into his pocket. “Look at some of the texts she’s sent me.”

Zero handed X his red flip phone. He took note of the cellphone charm that Iris had given to him when they started dating; she had one of her own to match. It was a cutesy bulbous smiley face that dangled in the air.

X’s eyes skimmed over the words as he read. 

“Why don’t you mail me every day?”  
“Didn’t you promise me to call every day before bedtime?”  
“Who's more important? Your friend or me?”

“Ah…” X handed the phone back, “I see what you mean… kind of.”  
“What a bother huh?”

“I suppose…” X mused, “I’m not sure if all relationships are like that though…”  
“Well, this one is. She’s so annoying sometimes. I get she likes me and want to hear my voice before I go to bed, but sometimes I want to hang out with you instead of her. Is that so wrong?”  
“Er… I-if I’m causing a rift between the two of you-”  
“Don’t sweat it. It isn’t your fault. I decided to hang out with you is all.” he shrugged and kicked a rock to the other side of the street. 

“It’s not… that bad though right?'  
“I guess not but she's so... frustrating sometimes. She always makes up some excuse for me to give her a present. She expects a present every week! It’s ridiculous to expect one for the “Three month anniversary of when we first met” give me a break already."

X would say in a heartbeat Zero had not one romantic bone in his body, but he was inclined to agree. That was a little ridiculous. 

'That serves him right, he abandoned me for some girl.'  
Huh? X frowned. where the heck did that come from?!

"You alright?"

"Huh? O-oh! Yeah. I was just thinking- you wouldn’t be able to afford it even if you had a second job and saved up," he fibbed.

“Exactly! What doesn’t she understand about that?!” Zero seemed to be pleased that they were both in agreement and X internally sighed in relief. He had no clue where a thought like that came from. It was.. almost scary. 

“You should really talk about this with her…”

“I would, but then she starts to get all pouty, and before I know it she’s crying. What do you do when someone is crying? She knows I don’t do tears,” he said, annoyed. 

“...” Well X was at a loss on what to say next. It's wasn't like he had any luck in love either. 

Zero's expression softened. “Sorry for venting at you like this… I don’t really know what I’m doing this… I guess I like her, but she really drives me up the wall sometimes. I just wanna know if all girlfriends are like this.”

X was quick to reassure him, “You’re fine! Really.”

“Do you have anything you need to do today?”  
“Eh? Well, no, not really.”

“You want to hang out? Get some ice cream or something? I need something to get my mind off of her or else it’ll drive me insane.”

X almost said that he would love too, but something about that made him feel too weird about it, so he said instead,  
“Sure! Let’s go!”

It had been a while since they had spent time like that. All of X’s worries seem to melt away, and he was having such a fun time just talking with him, that all of X’s worries seemed to wash away.

But that didn’t seem to last long. The thought that popped into his mind earlier bothered to him to no end. Where in the world did something like that come from...? he didn't actually feel that way, did he...?

And why was he feeling jealous? 

The next day arrived. It passed by as always with the usual classes and assignments to do. However, when the day was done and the teacher assigned who was on clean-up duty- he realized that Zero was full of crap. 

‘Having issues my butt.’ X thought somewhat bitterly. 

He had been watching Zero and Iris interact all day, expecting some sort of argument or underlying bitterness to one another. But if it weren’t for Zero’s venting the other day he wouldn’t have ever suspected anything being wrong. They laughed and talked and giggled during class, during lunch, and now when they were supposed to be cleaning the class and taking out the trash.

“Ze-rooo!” she playfully whacked his arm with her notebook and giggled, it was high pitched and bubbly. Sweet like a child. “Don’t do that~!”

“What? I’m just saying-”

X could practically see the pink hearts fluttering around them as they talked, they seemed to be like the average couple in “strawberry time” mode, as they say.

Zero was smiling.

His heart twisted familiarly. 

There goes that feeling of jealousy again. X looked away and took a deep breath.  
Of what? Why would he be jealous? Did he want a girlfriend? Well no, he decided quickly, not really. He was far too invested in his studies and he was perfectly fine with his free time being taken up by Zero.  
he shouldn't be feeling this way... 

Another nasty thought bubbled up,  
``if they have enough time to make out with each other they have enough time to go and pick up some trash the jerks!”

And then another.

‘I wish from the bottom of my heart they would both just explode.’

He mentally slapped himself and pushed those thoughts deep into the back of his mind. He doesn’t actually feel that way. No… He doesn’t really want his friend to explode. Why would he even think about that? All he wants is for his closest friend Zero to be happy. He just wants him to be happy.

He didn’t seem to be that happy on the walk home though. X started with perplexity as he looked annoyed whilst typing on his phone.

“Zero… are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he muttered back.

“...Are you sure?”

“It’s just that-” he put the phone into his pocket, the charm dangled out as he did so, “-when you go to high school you're supposed to get a girlfriend right?”

“I guess…. That’s how some people think about it. But you don’t exactly need to have one.”

“I guess not--but it feels kind of nice to have one. It’s just that… Well, I mean, she’s sweet and all, but then she says ‘sorry I’ll be late, I’m doing my nails! Oh, by the way, there’s a sale at that cake shop, can you get in line?’”

“Uh-”

“It’s the little things. You know? Like her timing is always off when she laughs... Has it always been like this? I guess I just need to deal with it.”

“...maybe you aren’t as compatible as you thought before…?” x mentally cursed after he said that. 

“Maybe.” he sighed. 

“Do you like her?”

“I think.” 

“I think you need to make up your mind Zero.”

“Probably… Yeah, I probably do…”

“Maybe-” X was cut off. 

“I don’t think we need to break up- if that's what you were going to say. Maybe all relationships are like this, and you just need to power through. It isn’t like I don’t like her.” he paused, thinking, “I think.”

“...Zero, have you ever noticed the sky?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“No matter what time of day it is, or whatever is going on, the sky is always there. It’s the background to every photo, but most people don’t seem to realize it’s even there…”

Zero looked at him a moment and tilted his head up to the sky. “I’ve never thought about it before. But I guess you’re right. I forget it’s even there a lot of the time.”

“I think we should all look at it more.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.’ Zero paused. You know, I like her when we’re together, but after… I don’t know. I get worked up over the things she’s done, and I forget why I liked her in the first place.”

“...Well… I can’t fix your relationship for you, Z.”

“I know. But… having you here always makes me feel better.” He suddenly frowned and brushed X’s cheek. X looked at him with confusion, while his face felt a bit warmer. 

“There was a petal on your cheek.” Zero explained.  
“Oh.” That moment he realized he was blushing.  
Zero wrapped an arm around his neck, resting his arm onto his shoulder and relaxed onto him. X flushed even brighter for reasons he couldn’t fathom.

“God I’m exhausted. Sorry, you have to put up with my constant bitching about her. Must be annoying, and, thinking about it, it’s all petty shit. I don’t understand why I’m getting all worked up about it either. So what if she’s 30 minutes late to a date? And so what I spend an extra 500 zenny on a cake? It makes her happy right? I don’t know.”

“M-maybe there’s an even bigger problem you don’t know about.” X stammered, trying to keep his mind focused.

“Haa? Like what?” his nose wrinkled up at the thought.

“Y-you need to figure that out.”

“Yeah, I really do need to get my shit together.” Zero suddenly pulled away and pointed a thumb in the direction of his home.

“You know what that means. See you later ``X.”  
“M-mm.” X nodded and waved a bit as he spun around and left. 

The same aching feeling jealousy dwindled in his heart on the way home. Why he was jealous was still a mystery to him. 

Parts of him wondered if he even wanted to know. It was all so confusing- he wondered if Zero felt the same when he flipped flopped between liking and disliking Iris. 

Weeks passed by. The time X and Zero spent together dwindled slowly. The warm and humid summer months slowly melted away, the days lasted shorter and winter peeked from the corner as the air chilled and became cool. Autumn was always crisp and cold around this area. X pulled up his scarf over the lower half of his face. The blue jacket that was part of the uniform blocked out most of the cold, and his neck felt rather snug with the velvety red scarf and tie.  
He walked alone, and as he did he texted his friend Alia with one hand, the other still tucked into his pocket.

“Where r u going?”  
“Back to the school. Forgot my math hw.”  
“Aw, that sux lol. U could have asked Zero to get it 4 u. He has kendo club right?”  
“Didn’t that end by now?”  
“Ya, but he always sticks around for his girlfriend to finish home ec.”  
“Ah. I see…”  
“You didn’t know? I thought u were BFFS!”  
“...”  
“We’ve been distant recently. Even when we hang out he’s always on his phone…”

“Oh worm?”

Huh? He frowned in confusion at the phone screen. 

“?”

“Sorry. That suckss… But don’t take it personally. I doubt those two are going to last much longer.”  
“What makes you think that?”

The speech bubble popped up disappeared, and a simple message was sent.

“Just a hunch.”  
“...”

He put his hand into his pocket for a moment and sighed. Alia was often like that, speaking as if she knew more than he did.

Truthfully he missed Zero a lot, but he wasn’t willing to mess with their relationship. He was the reason they must have been having problems in the first place. That was why he wasn’t talking to him as much as before. Right?

It made sense to him anyway. It was bad enough that he kept dwelling on these horrible thoughts. If he wasn’t careful he may end up doing something he would regret. And he understood couples needed space from friends. He just hoped that he would be able to talk to Zero soon…

Another part of him wished that not speaking to him was Iris's idea. 

“Oh Zero you flatter me…”

X looked up and his heart stopped.

Iris smiled as she walked beside Zero.

Their eyes met.

X could feel his face heating up as he moved past. 

“Come on Zero!”  
“Don’t yank on my tie like that,” he grunted back.  
“Oh don’t be like that~”

“...”

This feeling of jealousy… it wasn’t because he was envious of Zero having a girlfriend.  
It was close but...

What he was envious of, is Iris.  
Because she had what he could never have.

His stomach twisted and his eyes felt hot with tears. He was so stupid, stupid. It has been nearly a month, no, it's been 4 months now since they started dating, and he was only just now realizing what he had been so upset over this whole time.

What was even worse is since he was now sure of what it was, he could repress the urges and yearning for Zero. And the burning hatred for iris.  
Hatred is what it was, he felt disgusting and horrible. It was awful to hate someone he barely even knew just because of his feelings. The floodgates were open and now he couldn’t stop his mind from whispering horrible thoughts. 

How he wanted them to break up. Wishing their relationship to deteriorate more and more and more. X tried to tell himself, sure Zero complained about now and again, but it was just petty things. Things that had no impact in the long run. Things he would vent about he could forget about in a few days or less.

Conflicting feelings of love and hate and envy were overwhelming and he was beginning to feel like curling up in a ball and sobbing until the day ended. He could cry forever and forever at this rate. Why did he have to fall for his best friend? Now he would just cause him even more problems than before. Why couldn’t he just stayed happy for them like when he first found out? 

His phone buzzed.

“U there?”

He hesitated for a moment and pressed the buttons on his phone in quick succession. 

“Yeah.”  
“You ok?”  
“I’m fine.”  
“I can see u from the window. You don’t look okay.”  
“What do I look like?”  
“Sad… tbh.”

“I’m fine Alia.”

There was a pause.

“Well fine. Good luck with hw!”  
“Thx.”

He was fine, he thought.  
It could never work out, anyway.

He remembered how he reacted when strange rumors went about that the two were dating. He wasn’t even sure who spread them and why he never thought they were not as close as any other friend. 

He recalled Zero was very upset, snapping at anyone who brought it up.

“It’s ridiculous. Just because we are friends doesn’t mean we’re gay for each other. God… People have been reading too much manga…”

X could only nod in response. He didn’t mind back then, but he minded a bit now as the memory stung deep within his heart. It was ridiculous like he said. He was reading too much manga. And yet the last piece to the puzzle needed to be placed and he had found the perfect fit. It made sense. Too much sense. His mouth felt dry, and his stomach felt sick. It was a dull realization, like something he should have known all along.

The worst part was...

He would never be able to act on those feelings. 

Zeo's happy with her.

It should be enough to know he's happy. 

Even if the hole where his heart should be said otherwise. 

Zero walked behind Iris the next day as well. She took the lead as her hair flounced behind er, and the sun was setting, spreading vivid colors of bright hues into the sky.

The sky…

X’s words those weeks ago rang clear in his mind, and he looked up to it. Taking every note of the reds, yellows, and oranges, and tints of purple that were sure to consume the sky inevitably. 

“Zero!”

His mind snapped back to where she stood. She huffed, arms at her hips.  
“What were you doing? I called your name like, three times!”  
“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Good grief… We need to talk.” she sighed.

“About what exactly?”  
“Do you like.. Being with me? Are you sure you wouldn’t rather… You know, be with anyone else?”

‘This again.’ he thought. 

“No, Iris. I’m perfectly happy with you.”  
“You don’t really look like you do though…” She said softly.

“What gives you the idea that I’m not?”  
“Well… You always looked like you were having a good time with X-”  
“Iris.” Zero cut her off sternly. “Do you believe those rumors?”

She nodded, tearing a bit with a sour look on her face.  
“You don’t seem to like me at all.” she sniffed. Fat tears rolled down her cheeks.

Zero nearly rolled his eyes. A part of him felt he should be trying to comfort her, but how to do that was completely foreign so he stayed put and listened to her cries. 

“I heard you talking t-to him before. Y-you complained about me asking you to do things for me and the way I laugh…”  
“Just because of I-”  
“You don’t have anything to complain about him do you?!” She hiccuped.

“...”

Mulling over it, he could determine that she was right. Zero had no complaints about anything X did in his presence. He made him feel welcome, his smile was always warm and his eyes were a lively virescent. Sometimes he bit his thumb and muffled when he was taking a test or deep in thought. Sometimes he was overly cautious, and sometimes too naively trusting for his own good. He always ate his rice first in a meal, he prefers vanilla and cherry flavored sodas, he was sometimes overbearing in trying to get Zero to study… But none of those things ever really bothered Zero. X always had his back no matter the situation. Even when he claimed that he wouldn’t pull him out of any jams Zero put himself in by not study, X did help him out when there was a horribly important exam.

Smart, dependable, loyal, genuine, naive, sweet, cute- cute?

Wait, wait, wait wait- what?

“I thought if you would spend less time together you could maybe like me more…”  
“Is that why you never liked him?” Zero asked, thinking about all the texts asking who he'd rather spend time with. 

“Y-yeah. “ she stuttered. “If I didn’t bug you about it you would walk home with him every day, wouldn’t you?”  
“I decided to walk with you.” Though, he was realizing that if she never brought it up he would be walking with X instead of her. 

Oh shit. 

‘Maybe it’s an even bigger problem you don’t even know about.’

He missed X, didn’t he?

“But you’re always so miserable with me… What do you want from me?! I love you Zero and I want this to work out. Do you want to spend more time with him? Is that it? What can I do to make you happy?”

“...”

It wasn’t about her tittering giggle that was always off-key and off timing. It wasn’t about her always running late. It wasn’t about her need for gifts and incessant whining.

He liked her. She liked him. Truth be told, he really, really did like her. He really did enjoy her company. But there was always something missing. Something else to be had.

there was no pitter-patter or tug on his heartstrings when she said he loved her. That was what was missing. That's why he happened on her faults so much. 

That was why all of this felt... off to him.

What if X said those same words...? Just the thought of that made him feel...

“I’m sorry…”

She swallowed. A pained expression spread across her face.

“So there’s really nothing I can do?”

“No. There really isn’t… I think… We just need to break up.”

“Was it something I did?”

“No… it wasn’t. It really wasn’t. It’s just me.”

“Is it because of him then…?”

“...”

"...Do you even love me?"

"..."

“I see… I wish you luck then. I hope you will be happy with him." 

She turned and walked away. He watched as she finally disappeared.

He didn't love her. That was what his mind was telling him along. that was why those rumors bothered him so much. Why was he so oblivious all this time...? Is he just an idiot...?

Probably.

'I think you need to make up your mind Zero."

For better or for worse, his mind was made.

“X?”  
“Hm?”

X looked behind him, his eyes lit up, “Oh! Zero!”

“Can I walk with you after school today?”

He nodded. “Uh, yeah!”

Having Zero by his side was an odd feeling, yet still familiar. It was sad to see how rare the sight was.

Zero was fiddling with his phone in his hand, playing with phone charm and opening and closing it repeatedly.

“Are you okay Z?”

“Hm? What do you mean?” 

“You don’t seem to be… fully here.” X said carefully. “You’re fiddling with-”

“Oh yeah.” Zero tsked and yanked the phone chain and threw it on the ground. X looked at him, puzzled.

“We broke up.”

“What?!”

“Yeah.” He cringed a bit. “She broke down crying while we were talking the other day.”

“Oh.. What happened?”

“We talked. She said she knew I wasn’t happy, and wanted to know how to fix it.”

“...Were you unhappy?” X asked.

“I was," he said without hesitation. "I wasn’t happy with her, and nothing was going to fix it. But to tell you the truth… she wasn’t that bad. Surprising I know. We had our good and bad times. It’s just… I would rather hang out with you,” he confessed. 

“A-ah!” X face flushed and he looked around, wondering if anybody heard. Zero raised an eyebrow “I-I don’t want that strange rumor to spread again.”

“I don’t care.”

“Eh?”  
Zero grabbed his hands and his blue eyes bore into him.

“Let them spread whatever rumor they want.”

“Zero-.”

“I’ve been an idiot this whole time. You’ve been here all along and I was too blind to see it…” his expression softened. “I’m not an expert but-”

“Z-zero-”

“I think this is love.”

No one was surprised the next morning when the two "friends" walked to school holding hands.

**Author's Note:**

> My inpiration is a song by "hyadain" with the same title. I reccomend checking it out! Catchy. They're most well known for the theme song of "nichijou" but are also well known for those weird megaman songs where everyone but woodman and airman is in love with him.
> 
> Fun fact, one guy does the vocals in every song! Even the female voices....


End file.
